2009年7月28日 星期二

袈 裟


I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes, and not rather a new wearer of clothes. If there is not a new man, how can the new clothes be made to fit? If you have any enterprise before you, try it in your old clothes. All men want, not something to
do with, but something to do, or rather something to be. Perhaps we should never procure a new suit, however ragged or dirty the old, until we have so conducted, so enterprised or sailed in some way, that we feel like new men in the old, and that to retain it would be like keeping new wine in old bottles. Our moulting season, like that of the fowls, must be a crisis in our lives. The loon retires to solitary ponds to spend it. Thus also the snake casts its slough, and the caterpillar its wormy coat, by an internal industry and expansion; for clothes are but our outmost cuticle and mortal coil. Otherwise we shall be found sailing under false colors, and be inevitably cashiered at last by our own opinion, as well as that of mankind.


聖經馬太福音第九章:
16.沒有人把新布補在舊衣服上;因為所補上的反帶壞了那衣服,破的就更大了。
17.也沒有人把新酒裝在舊皮袋裡;若是這樣,皮袋就裂開,酒漏出來,連皮袋也壞了。惟獨把新酒裝在新皮袋裡,兩樣就都保全了。


梭羅寫這段文字時想必正讀著聖經;他說:除了像蛻變的蝴蝶一樣換了個人,否則是沒有必要換新衣的;若只是為了包裝而換衣服,那如同掛著綠色的旗子航向對岸,最後無可避免的被自己放棄,也被別人放棄。

法句經有:不吐毒態,欲心馳騁,未能自調,不應法衣;能吐毒態,戒意安靜,降心已調,此應法衣。或者如 Acharya Buddharakkhita 的英譯:

Whoever being depraved, devoid of self-control and truthfulness, should don the monk's yellow robe, he surely is not worthy of the robe.

But whoever is purged of depravity, well-established in virtues and filled with self-control and truthfulness, he indeed is worthy of the yellow robe.

一個真正解脫了的人,即便身不著袈裟,也會比欲心馳騁的出家人更為人所重;或者不為人所重,但春服既成,景物斯和,偶影獨游,亦欣慨交心。正如陶潛的《時運》一詩:

邁邁時運,穆穆良朝。襲我春服,薄言東郊。

山滌餘靄,宇曖微霄。有風自南,翼彼新苗。


想起小時候過年時穿新衣服的感覺,不正像蝴蝶破繭而出嗎?

2009年7月26日 星期日

台客宅男敗犬

Kings and queens who wear a suit but once, though made by some tailor or dressmaker to their majesties, cannot know the comfort of wearing a suit that fits. They are no better than wooden horses to hang the clean clothes on. Every day our garments become more assimilated to ourselves, receiving the impress of the wearer's character, until we hesitate to lay them aside without such delay and medical appliances and some such solemnity even as our bodies. No man ever stood the lower in my estimation for having a patch in his clothes; yet I am sure that there is greater anxiety, commonly, to have fashionable, or at least clean and unpatched clothes, than to have a sound conscience. But even if the rent is not mended, perhaps the worst vice betrayed is improvidence. I sometimes try my acquaintances by such tests as this — Who could wear a patch, or two extra seams only, over the knee? Most behave as if they believed that their prospects for life would be ruined if they should do it. It would be easier for them to hobble to town with a broken leg than with a broken pantaloon.
Often if an accident happens to a gentleman's legs, they can be mended; but if a similar accident happens to the legs of his pantaloons, there is no help for it; for he considers, not what is truly respectable, but what is respected.


我們這個地方的多樣性是朝著梭羅的思考在走的 -- 除了政治人物和老人家以外;只是步調稍嫌慢了一點。政論節目是銀髮族的最愛,這是有民調根據的;所以那些在電視上評論政治的名嘴才是名符其實的啃老族。梭羅所熟識的人認為如果穿著有補丁的褲子在街上走被看到,那麼一輩子就毀了。我們現在不會這樣了;雖然不是每個人都敢於自稱是台客宅男敗犬,但大部份的人並不怕被歸類於哪一族,有些人還自詡為某一族類代表。什麼時後從中國來的住民也能像台客原住民那樣,自豪於自己的根源,而不因自身是少數族類而自妄呢?既然台灣已是一個國家,那應該是沒有省這個行政區域的,但台派的老人家總是把外省人掛在嘴上罵個不停,一點不覺得有什麼矛盾的地方;他們老糊塗不是很明顯嗎?但是他們總是喜歡說我們已經老了,這麼上街頭拼是為了下一代,可是年輕人都還不曉得覺醒。如果是這樣,他們的"下一代"怎麼感受不到,不陪著他們一起出來,讓"家中的寶"這麼日曬雨淋?可是當要這些老人家少用一個塑膠袋,為後代的人想一想,他們卻死也不肯!從來沒想到他們下一代最大的問題正是他們自己。


2009年7月20日 星期一

修 行


如果我的看法沒錯,這就是梭羅的修行方式:

  • 每天早上,試圖幫太陽自地表昇起
  • 幫風傳遞消息
  • 傍晚站在山頂給太陽送行
  • 當義務的巡山員,保持林中道路的暢通
  • 照顧牧場周圍的野生動物
  • 幫一些野生植物澆水,以免它們在旱季枯萎


但是,每個人的體質不同,造化因緣也不同;所以你無須削足適履,刻意使用梭羅的修行方式。如果你知道在你的職位上可以盡情施展你的才能,那麼你也無須服用梭羅所開的藥方。



2009年7月18日 星期六

BIG PAPI


老爹是我的小狗的名字,取自於大聯盟紅襪隊 David Ortiz 的外號;因為他們都長的黑黑壯壯。2007年中出生,雖然不知道確實的出生日期,但從小就註定要成為一隻了不起的“犬物“。牠堅強而具有勇氣,不論上天或者入地都沒問題;每每能從生活中獲取靈感,並像對待愛人那樣小心呵護,不讓那些靈感輕易溜走。

老爹把我每天帶牠出去當作一天最重要的事;只要看到我穿起準備要出門的褲子,就興奮的轉圈跳躍。我並沒有為他的興奮付出什麼;反而是牠給我機會讓我離開電腦桌前,到戶外透一口氣,看看文化中心廣場上的夜空,或者到新光碼頭聽聽海風帶來什麼遠方的訊息;若是風向轉了,也順便麻煩它幫我捎個回文。


If I should attempt to tell how I have desired to spend my life in years past, it would probably surprise those of my readers who are somewhat acquainted with its actual history; it would certainly astonish those who know nothing about it. I will only hint at some of the enterprises which I have cherished.

In any weather, at any hour of the day or night, I have been anxious to improve the nick of time, and notch it on my stick too; to stand on the meeting of two eternities, the past and future, which is precisely the present moment; to toe that line. You will pardon some obscurities, for there are more secrets in my trade than in most men's, and yet not voluntarily kept, but inseparable from its very nature. I would gladly tell all that I know about it, and never paint "No Admittance" on my gate.

I long ago lost a hound, a bay horse, and a turtle dove, and am still on their trail. Many are the travellers I have spoken concerning them, describing their tracks and what calls they answered to. I have met one or two who had heard the hound, and the tramp of the horse, and even seen the dove disappear behind a cloud, and they seemed as anxious to recover them as if they had lost them themselves.

我們每個人都有曾失去的,而當我們跟其他人提起時,如果他是一個「同人」,就會心有戚戚;五年級同學共有的記憶,豈是七年級以後的學生可以瞭解。曾經對一個朋友說,常常不確定一個人在國外讀書的時候留下的回憶到底是真的還是夢境,或是自己後來想像的;因為沒有其他人共同參與,無法求証。但是那些刻在手杖裡的記錄,實在清晰,難以磨滅。我的朋友說,她知道我的感覺。


2009年7月16日 星期四

哲學家


At the present day, and in this country, as I find by my own experience, a few implements, a knife, an axe, a spade, a wheelbarrow, etc., and for the studious, lamplight, stationery, and access to a few books, rank next to necessaries, and can all be obtained at a trifling cost. Yet some, not wise, go to the other side of the globe, to barbarous and unhealthy regions, and devote themselves to trade for ten or twenty years, in order that they may live — that is, keep comfortably warm — and die in New England at last. The luxuriously rich are not simply kept comfortably warm, but unnaturally hot; as I implied before, they are cooked, of course à la mode.

Most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind. With respect to luxuries and comforts, the wisest have ever lived a more simple and meagre life than the poor. The ancient philosophers, Chinese, Hindoo, Persian, and Greek, were a class than which none has been poorer in outward riches, none so rich in inward. We know not much about them. It is remarkable that we know so much of them as we do. The same is true of the more modern reformers and benefactors of their race. None can be an impartial or wise observer of human life but from the vantage ground of what we should call voluntary poverty. Of a life of luxury the fruit is luxury, whether in agriculture, or commerce, or literature, or art.


現在,在台灣這個國家,很少聽過餓死人的;但是大部份的人卻活在恐懼之中,害怕自己退休後沒錢用。據說,我們的國家有免於恐懼的自由。如果這麼說你還是不能安心,那你可以遷到更暖的南部來;這裡不但氣候暖,人心也暖。只要你不為自己設限,要保持你體內的生機熱應該是沒問題。我並不敢要求每個人都要變成哲學家,但是當哲學家就不要想成為樂透頭彩得主;這兩者你只能選擇一個。一個過著神仙般生活的人,對實相不會有所領悟,更不會想要解脫;人們總以為登高才能眺遠,但人類生命中的難題還是得在地面上解決。



2009年7月15日 星期三

孤 獨


I think that we may safely trust a good deal more than we do. We may waive just so much care of ourselves as we honestly bestow elsewhere. Nature is as well adapted to our weakness as to our strength. The incessant anxiety and strain of some is a well-nigh incurable form of disease. We are made to exaggerate the importance of what work we do; and yet how much is not done by us! or, what if we had been taken sick? How vigilant we are! determined not to live by faith if we can avoid it; all the day long on the alert, at night we unwillingly say our prayers and commit ourselves to uncertainties. So thoroughly and sincerely are we compelled to live, reverencing our life, and denying the possibility of change. This is the only way, we say; but there are as many ways as there can be drawn radii from one centre. All change is a miracle to contemplate; but it is a miracle which is taking place every instant. Confucius said, "To know that we know what we know, and that we do not know what we do not know, that is true knowledge." When one man has reduced a fact of the imagination to be a fact to his understanding, I foresee that all men at length establish their lives on that basis.


無論你是富翁還是乞丐,孤獨的感受不會不同,而且不是身邊圍繞著一群人就不會感到孤獨。但是我們也常會有喜歡一個人不被打擾的時候。人類所能完成的偉大之作沒有一件不是獨自完成的。因為偉大的東西超越是非,只有偉大的心靈能夠產生,不能忍受任何的遷就。詩人 Tennyson 說:

I held it truth, with him who sings

To one clear harp in diver tones,

That men may rise on stepping-stones

Of their dead selves to higher things.

從他伴著清的豎琴聲中所唱的,

我以為正是如此的調調 ──

人可以踩在槁木死灰的自身所砌成的石階上,

昇華成更高一點的玩意兒。



為了看《莊子》我得要去啃深澀的文言文,為了看原文的《湖濱散記》也讓我吃盡苦頭;這一切都是值得的嗎?難道沒有更好的事該做?會不會因為這樣而讓我更加孤獨呢?其實清晨的陽光可以輕易的將這些念頭一掃而空。這並沒有什麼深刻的道理,只是衪讓你覺得你可以這樣過下去。太陽不是也這麼來來去去的過了千百億年嗎?尼采說,若是沒有萬物來承受陽光的照射,衪也會為自己的偉大感到厭煩。這就是尼采瘋狂的原因。太陽對我說了:『怎麼會呢?這真是想太多了。』



人的內心與腦的容量一樣,並不是無限的大;只要真誠地對身外之物投注一些關心,就可以減少對自己過度的憂慮;這就是大乘佛教的菩提心。傳說以前柴山上的彌猴在每年北風開始刮起的時候就會成羣的遷徒到大崗山避寒。後來因遷徒的路線給建了房子,開了道路,猴子就不再過去了。我想也有可能是因為溫室效應,高雄的氣候愈來愈暖,根本就無需避冬了。



1862年,史溫侯發表《福爾摩沙的哺乳類》一書,為台灣彌猴命名為Macaca cyclopis,是台灣島上除了人類之外,唯一的靈長類。這一年,也是梭羅過世的那一年。這個事件,梭羅應是不知道的。也許史溫侯也不知道梭羅這個人吧!不過他們的生命卻透過達爾文有了連結。梭羅引述自然學家達爾文的話說,住在南美洲火地群島(Tierra del Fuego)這個地方的人,因為常年居住在寒冷之地,一點都不怕冷;當達爾文和他的一夥人圍在火堆旁取暖還覺得冷的要命,那些人卻躲的遠遠的,光著身子,揮汗如雨。儘管每個人一生的際遇各有不同,卻都必須過這一生。而我們雖不是自願來到這世上,又要靠自己才能生存下去 -- 這顯然很不合理。人一出生既然就要接受這種不合理性,為什麼有些人一定要窮盡一生去謀求人類社會的合理性,為那些火地群島的居民製作衣物呢?莊子說:『知其無可奈何,安之若命。』又說:『古之真人,不知說生,不知惡死,… 不忘其所始,不求其所終;受而喜之,忘而復之,是之謂不以心損道,不以人助天,是之謂真人。』-- 這就是真正的覺悟,這就成就了菩提!



註:達爾文於1859年10月在倫敦出版了《物種起源》。隔年2月,梭羅讀到了該書美國首版,是最早閱讀這本書的美國人之一。

2009年7月13日 星期一

人生的目的



Talk of a divinity in man! Look at the teamster on the highway, wending to market by day or night; does any divinity stir within him? His highest duty to fodder and water his horses! What is his destiny to him compared with the shipping interests?

See how he cowers and sneaks, how vaguely all the day he fears, not being immortal nor divine, but the slave and prisoner of his own opinion of himself, a fame won by his own deeds. Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate. Self-emancipation even in the West Indian provinces of the fancy and imagination, - what Wilberforce is there to bring that about? Think, also, of the ladies of the land weaving toilet cushions against the last day, not to betray too green an interest in their fates! As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.


據說現在台北年輕人認為人生的目的就是繳房貸和養小孩。雖然我不認為人生有什麼目的,但這樣的人生會比沒有目的的人生好嗎?長遠來說,人的目標是什麼,你就會達到什麼。這一代不成功,下一代總會成功;所以很多人正繳著上一代留下來的房貸。事實上他們人生的目的就只有繳房貸,如果他們的下一代不跟著繳,就發覺自己是白活了。我的父母親作了一輩子這種意見的奴隸和囚徒,還希望我繼續跟著他們這樣作,真是夠了!他們可以對著不同政治立場的言論義憤填膺,但在經濟之神面前卻鬼祟畏縮,惶惶不可終日,一點都不覺得自己有什麼不妥。若說經濟不是命運的同義詞那又怎麼會這樣?然而,如果經濟之神賣得了錢,他們也是可以把它拿去市場上賣的。

不是說相由心生嗎?梭羅說:What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate. 難道這就是我們的命運,還是我們可以掌握自己的命運,讓經濟只是經濟?給我貧窮,讓我可以享用真正的財富!






2009年7月12日 星期日

在城市安居



But men labor under a mistake. The better part of the man is soon plowed into the soil for compost. By a seeming fate, commonly called necessity, they are employed, as it says in an old book, laying up treasures which moth and rust will corrupt and thieves break through and steal. It is a fool's life, as they will find when they get to the end of it, if not before.

年紀愈大,也就愈孤獨,因為老人的名字就叫孤獨。由於台灣人的共業,許多老人不但孤獨,而且已經活在無間的地獄中受苦。他們被來自異域的夜叉看守著,偶爾坐在刑車上到牢籠外透氣,但多半是躺在暗無天日的房間裡,身形逐漸消瘦,令人不忍卒賭。這樣的地獄幾乎家家戶戶都有一個,可是人人都認為自己以後不會和他的長輩一樣,而是會快快活活的上天堂。稍有一點警覺性的就每天早起到公園運動,注重飲食養生,然後把自己的日後交給不可知的天意。不知即時強健自己的心志,讓自己可以死得其所;只知儲存那蛾子會吃的、會鏽爛的、詐騙集團和子孫覬覦的財物,而不知道匹夫不可奪志也!


Most men, even in this comparatively free country, through mere ignorance and mistake, are so occupied with the factitious cares and superfluously coarse labors of life that its finer fruits cannot be plucked by them. Their fingers, from excessive toil, are too clumsy and tremble too much for that. Actually, the laboring man has not leisure for a true integrity day by day; he cannot afford to sustain the manliest relations to men; his labor would be depreciated in the market. He has no time to be anything but a machine. How can he remember well his ignorance — which his growth requires — who has so often to use his knowledge? We should feed and clothe him gratuitously sometimes, and recruit him with our cordials, before we judge of him. The finest qualities of our nature, like the bloom on fruits, can be preserved only by the most delicate handling. Yet we do not treat ourselves nor one another thus tenderly. 

factitious: 人為造作的

gratuitous: given or done free of charged

生活在台灣,這個相對來說比較自由的國家,大部份的人卻仍為不必要的瑣事纒身,無法親自去摘取生命中最美好的果實;尤其是上班族,根本沒有能力和空閒去維持人格的一致性、與人維持最基本的真誠關係;因為一旦他這麼做,他的勞力在市場上就會貶值。所以,在勞動市場上可以保持人格一致的人,往往是卑劣的。

現在“經濟“這兩個字就是“命運“的同義詞。一個人沒了頭路就好像犯了什麼不可饒恕的罪似的。貪婪自私卻和英雄好漢畫上等號;為了賺錢而卑躬屈膝也成為一種美德、一種時尚。什麼時候銅臭味變香了?如果天使或是神仙知道人類這麼糟蹋與生俱來的感官知覺會怎麼想?因為他們是沒有這些的。他們之所以會想下凡塵來不正是因為只有人類才有的感知嗎?可是天使和神仙要錢幹什麼呢?他們想要多少就有多少。可以用錢買的東西只會使我們對於痛苦更加麻木不仁而已。就好像”爛蘋果日報”一樣,因為它的新聞都腐朽了,也只能腐蝕人心。生活在糞池中的蛆是聞不出它的臭的。也許「做人太苦,成仙太難」,人類只好這麼逃避?但是神仙如果知道下凡來要變成這樣,那寧可讓祂安樂死吧!

"The false society of men — — for earthly greatness All heavenly comforts rarefies to air."
"愚癡的人們 — — 為了塵世的所謂美好 任由上天的賞賜化為烏有。"

2009年7月11日 星期六

高 雄


I would fain say something, not so much concerning the Chinese and Sandwich Islanders
as you who read these pages, who are said to live in New England; something about your condition, especially your outward condition or circumstances in this world, in this town, what it is, whether it is necessary that it be as bad as it is, whether it cannot be improved as well as not.
(此段話在梭羅1845年12月25日的日記中第一次寫到。)


Walden 2.0也不打算談中國人或者夏威夷人,雖然我對這兩種人都很有興趣。有些住在這裡的人對中國仍然有所依戀;那我也要求他大膽的去做,把他的根真正植在那塊地方,而不是只在這裡幻想。會對這個部落格有興趣的,應該是想在這個稱為寶島的地方安居的人,想要讓這個地方更適合人居的人。即使有一天這個地方歸中國政府管轄,我還是這麼認為;因為敵人攻進城來,我依然可以從容不迫,兩手空空的走進山裡去,等到城裡適合人居時再回來。百萬富翁有百萬富翁的煩惱,億萬富翁有億萬富翁的煩惱,真正覺悟的人則沒有煩惱。



I see young men, my townsmen, whose misfortune it is to have inherited farms, houses, barns, cattle, and farming tools; for these are more easily acquired than got rid of.


繼承5000年的文化遺產真有這麼好嗎?還是一種不幸?看看那些對中國仍有所依戀的台灣人,要他們捨棄這些文化遺產當真不是這麼容易!若是我們生出來就是在一個開放的環境下受教育,那應該能看清這些文化遺產的真相。為什麼一定要背著復興中華民族及文化的包袱過活?400年的台灣史對我來說也太多了。





ECONOMY


When I wrote the following pages, or rather the bulk of them, I lived alone, in the woods, a mile from any neighbor, in a house which I had built myself, on the shore of Walden Pond, in Concord, Massachusetts, and earned my living by the labor of my hands only.
I lived there two years and two months. At present I am a sojourner in civilized life again.


這個部落格裡所貼出來的東西,大部分是我住在高雄市廣州一街,靠近文化中心的一棟二樓三的透天厝時所寫下的。這棟房子是我父母親的,樓下及半樓仔租給機車行作生意,我則可以使用二樓及厝尾頂。我靠著為朋友打打零工過活,日子還過的去。

由於收入少,所以儘量回去吃父母親的。這樣似乎有點像所謂的啃老族;然而,因為他們不差我一個吃,只要時時做點勞動服務當作回報就行。父母親住的地方離我的住處僅兩條街,通常騎自行車往返兩處。一個人住有時會覺得孤單;但孤單對我來說一直都不是太大的問題,更何況我還有一隻土狗相陪。

梭羅要求每個寫作的人都應該為自己的一生作一簡單而真實的描述;就好像你寫信給遠方的友人信裡會描述的一般。因為,梭羅說,如果你想要日子過的真實,那一定得住在遠方。