2010年4月29日 星期四

春天的恕道 (下)


Our village life would stagnate if it were not for the unexplored forests and meadows which surround it. We need the tonic of wildness — to wade sometimes in marshes where the bittern and the meadow-hen lurk, and hear the booming of the snipe; to smell the whispering sedge where only some wilder and more solitary fowl builds her nest, and the mink crawls with its belly close to the ground. At the same time that we are earnest to explore and learn all things, we require that all things be mysterious and unexplorable, that land and sea be infinitely wild, unsurveyed and unfathomed by us because unfathomable. We can never have enough of nature. We must be refreshed by the sight of inexhaustible vigor, vast and titanic features, the sea-coast with its wrecks, the wilderness with its living and its decaying trees, the thunder-cloud, and the rain which lasts three weeks and produces freshets. We need to witness our own limits transgressed, and some life pasturing freely where we never wander. We are cheered when we observe the vulture feeding on the carrion which disgusts and disheartens us, and deriving health and strength from the repast. There was a dead horse in the hollow by the path to my house, which compelled me sometimes to go out of my way, especially in the night when the air was heavy, but the assurance it gave me of the strong appetite and inviolable health of Nature was my compensation for this. I love to see that Nature is so rife with life that myriads can be afforded to be sacrificed and suffered to prey on one another; that tender organizations can be so serenely squashed out of existence like pulp — tadpoles which herons gobble up, and tortoises and toads run over in the road; and that sometimes it has rained flesh and blood! With the liability to accident, we must see how little account is to be made of it. The impression made on a wise man is that of universal innocence. Poison is not poisonous after all, nor are any wounds fatal. Compassion is a very untenable ground. It must be expeditious. Its pleadings will not bear to be stereotyped.


四月二十八日午夜,零時過後,我照例帶著兩隻狗出去散步。老爹已經三歲,出生不久就帶過來了;貝莉則是朋友託我照顧的。老爹跟了我之後,我很老實的帶他去打預防針,一直打到剩下最後一項的心絲蟲檢查,因為發現這一項目在檢查完後還要每月吃藥預防,就決定不作檢查了。之後,我的收入就只夠我一個人生活跟買狗飼料,所以儘管老爹時常因與其他小狗鬥毆,有皮肉傷,我也隨他自行痊癒,未再找過獸醫。


這日在經過四維路及光華路口時,正好遇上一人騎著機車載了一隻狗,老爹就趕了上去,一直追到光華路上接近五權街口才折回。此時,看到一輛車往他開去,他閃開了,但到了另一方向的車道,卻沒逃過。車頭撞到他的右眼角處,碰的一聲悶響,老爹在地上滾了二圈才停,但他馬上爬了起來,可能受到驚嚇,往住處方向狂奔。我牽著貝莉回去找他,卻沒有找到他。一直到早上才聽到他在門外的叫聲,趕忙爬起來幫他開門。此時才發現他右眼角處的傷口,推測應該是撞到的點。開車的司機當時有停下車並走回去查看,但老爹早已跑遠,我看司機的表情無法知道他是否清楚撞到了什麼。


第一天情況還好,回來後也有吃東西,與過去受傷回來後差不多。4/29凌晨要出去時,他也要跟著出去,我也帶著出去了。但是到了4/29早上,情況卻有惡化的情形。身體會顫抖,眼角上方也因抓扯而脫皮紅腫。

下午我出門去,晚上回來時似乎穩定一點。我端了飼料到他前面地下,他就著吃似乎有困難,我便把盤子端到一個高度讓他吃。4/30凌晨出門散步時,卻又似生龍活虎,感覺是上了他的當。


梭羅說,我們對於大自然,永不饜足;我們必須被那無盡生機的景象所更新 -- 走山的景象,大地震後的殘骸,水災後的荒蕪...。我們需要看到我們的界限被超越,看到某些生物在我們沒有涉足過的地方自由自在的吃草。我們埋怨媒體的嗜血,其實那反應人的本性。對照宇宙性的純潔天真,同情是一種難以站得住腳的立場,一瞬即過;嗜血的媒體卻是長存。人們總是說上天自有安排,然而無常的到來如此迅捷,可知上天從未認真地把意外的發生當一回事。

梭羅從他兩年多的實驗中至少認識到一件事:如果一個人有信心的向著他夢想的方向前進,努力去過他所想像的生活,他就會在平凡的時刻遇到出乎意料的成功。台灣的死刑犯被害者家屬無法原諒加害者,堅持不能廢除死刑;巧的是,死刑犯的家屬也不能原諒政府執行死刑的作為,連事先通知也做不到,以致在行刑前不能見到最後一面。最兩全的作法也許是兩造家屬好好談談,如果被害者家屬依舊堅持執行死刑,就由執法人員協助讓被害者家屬行刑。這樣執法單位也不用兩邊不討好;死刑犯也死的心甘情願(若不甘願他也知道要找誰)。以怨止怨終究是不可能,但是要以法律的途徑來化解喪親之痛所造成的怨恨也一樣是掾木求魚。廢死聯盟不該以為最文明的方式就是解決問題的最好方法,每一個死刑犯的處決都值得以個案處理,值得去把舊的法則擴充,以更為自由的精神加以解釋,使得任何決定的不正當性可以暴露出來。如此,罪惡就不再是罪惡,寬恕也不再是寬恕,死亡也不再是死亡。 (下篇完)






沒有留言:

張貼留言