廣州一街

Near the end of March, 1845, I borrowed an axe and went down to the woods by Walden Pond, nearest to where I intended to build my house, and began to cut down some tall, arrowy white pines, still in their youth, for timber. It is difficult to begin without borrowing, but perhaps it is the most generous course thus to permit your fellow-men to have an interest in your enterprise. The owner of the axe, as he released his hold on it, said that it was the apple of his eye; but I returned it sharper than I received it. It was a pleasant hillside where I worked, covered with pine woods, through which I looked out on the pond, and a small open field in the woods where pines and hickories were springing up. The ice in the pond was not yet dissolved, though there were some open spaces, and it was all dark-colored and saturated with water. There were some slight flurries of snow during the days that I worked there; but for the most part when I came out on to the railroad, on my way home, its yellow sand heap stretched away gleaming in the hazy atmosphere, and the rails shone in the spring sun, and I heard the lark and pewee and other birds already come to commence another year with us. They were pleasant spring days, in which the winter of man's discontent was thawing as well as the earth, and the life that had lain torpid began to stretch itself. One day, when my axe had come off and I had cut a green hickory for a wedge, driving it with a stone, and had placed the whole to soak in a pond-hole in order to swell the wood, I saw a striped snake run into the water, and he lay on the bottom, apparently without inconvenience, as long as I stayed there, or more than a quarter of an hour; perhaps because he had not yet fairly come out of the torpid state. It appeared to me that for a like reason men remain in their present low and primitive condition; but if they should feel the influence of the spring of springs arousing them, they would of necessity rise to a higher and more ethereal life. I had previously seen the snakes in frosty mornings in my path with portions of their bodies still numb and inflexible, waiting for the sun to thaw them. On the 1st of April it rained and melted the ice, and in the early part of the day, which was very foggy, I heard a stray goose groping about over the pond and cackling as if lost, or like the spirit of the fog.

So I went on for some days cutting and hewing timber, and also studs and rafters, all with my narrow axe, not having many communicable or scholar-like thoughts, singing to myself, —

Men say they know many things;
But lo! they have taken wings —
The arts and sciences,
And a thousand appliances;
The wind that blows
Is all that any body knows.

2008年二月中旬，我決定在這裡住下來。原本想要學梭羅跑到森林裡住一陣子，過自給自足的生活；自在地過生活，讓自己不要在死前發現自己沒有真正活過。後來覺得住在離父母親家不遠的市區反而更省錢，衣服可以丟到洗衣機去洗，晚餐可以回家吃。若是需要什麼生活用品，也可以順手牽羊而不必擔心被抓去警察局。並非每個人都像我一樣佔盡所有便宜，但如果梭羅能在那種環境下生活，相信其他人也應該為自己想到辦法，更何況我也並不是一點問題都沒有。

之後，我為自己買了一台桌上型電腦(HP Pavilion g3220tl). 2009年五月，自行下載 Solaris作業系統並安裝完成，但是安裝程式找不到網路卡的驅動程式，不能上網。6月9日，終於在 Free NIC drivers for Solaris 找到驅動程式。10日安裝完成，11日設定ADSL撥接上網。我將安裝結果上傳至昇陽公司(Sun Microsystems, Inc.)，他們也給我回了信，內容如下：

Record ID: 33523
Submitter Name: Onkell Wang
Type: System - Desktop System
Manufacturer: HP
Model: Pavilion g3220tl

Hello Onkell Wang,

Your HCL submission has been approved.

This item is expected to be published on the sun HCL next week.

Thank you for your submission and for contributing to the BigAdmin site.

Sincerely,
Sarah Yang

HCL Auditing Team
Sun Microsystems, Inc.

30年前，在這附近還沒有這麼多房子時，文化中心也是一大片空地；國小老師會帶我們去那裡焢土窯。下課後，小孩子會一起在庭仔腳玩橡皮筋，把十條打個結，放在一條線上，用橡皮筋將它射出一個距離外；橡皮筋是色彩鮮豔而透明的活筋而不是死筋。或者捌牌仔，每個參賽者出幾張疊成一榻，將這榻圓牌中的一張用牌仔打出來算贏。捌牌仔的人要小心，要確定自己這一摔就能把標的打出來且完全和其他牌仔分離，否則就會作牌給別人。用來捌的那一張要養的厚，打起來才會有力；有時候會凹一小折來捌。還有巷仔底有一塊小泥土地，可以挖五個洞玩天國窟彈珠遊戲。現在那塊泥土地已變成水泥地了，巷子也不像現在有一堆汽機車停放著，可以玩稻草人跳格子遊戲，小孩子多時就玩踢銅罐仔，忍者哈特利真人電影裡有作到這個。下雨天可以作土丸子。好像是挖一些灰色的黏土，揉成球狀，外頭再覆上泥土，然後埋起來。過一陣子挖出來後慢慢將表皮抹去，可以看到亮亮的一層。

無論我的想像力有多豐富，都很難把住處想像成一個適合旅行的神仙歇腳的地方。雖然決意在這裡住下來，還是希望有朝一日能在山上找個地方，那裡有清晨的風吹出天籟，可以不斷創造天上才有的詩歌。

愛情中有自由，靈魂中有自在。

And when the farmer has got his house, he may not be the richer but the poorer for it, and it be the house that has got him. As I understand it, that was a valid objection urged by Momus against the house which Minerva made, that she "had not made it movable, by which means a bad neighborhood might be avoided"; and it may still be urged, for our houses are such unwieldy property that we are often imprisoned rather than housed in them; and the bad neighborhood to be avoided is our own scurvy selves. I know one or two families, at least, in this town, who, for nearly a generation, have been wishing to sell their houses in the outskirts and move into the village, but have not been able to accomplish it, and only death will set them free.

人類為了解決生活上的問題，往往想了一個比此問題更複雜的問題給自己。為了喝杯牛奶養一條牛就是典型的此類情況。為了得到一些舒適，他設計了一連串的圈套， 卻沒想到先把自己給套牢了。這就是我們貧窮的原因，即便我們週遭都被奢華的物質給包圍，卻犠牲了所有野蠻人所能享受到的。為何當初智慧之神否決了享樂之神所造的房子，就是因為享樂之神所造的房子不能移動，要是碰到了壞鄰居怎麼辦？我的叔叔嬸嬸十多年前就想要搬家，到最近終於還是決定不搬了。梭羅說：只到了死才能讓他們撒手。

就連我之前想要從我原來租屋處搬到隔了兩條街父母親的房子去住，便覺得非常困擾。人的問題是，一旦在一個地方定下來，就不想再搬了。這樣到最後還是會陷入自己所設的圈套之中。也許我要去一個地方之前，要先想好要怎麼離開。要不就是買一個可供窩身的空箱子，打幾個孔，讓空氣進的來，重點是要讓愛情中有自由，靈魂中有自在。

用減法過日子

When I consider my neighbors, the farmers of Concord, who are at least as well off as the other classes, I find that for the most part they have been toiling twenty, thirty, or forty years, that they may become the real owners of their farms, which commonly they have inherited with encumbrances, or else bought with hired money — and we may regard one third of that toil as the cost of their houses — but commonly they have not paid for them yet. It is true, the encumbrances sometimes outweigh the value of the farm, so that the farm itself becomes one great encumbrance, and still a man is found to inherit it, being well acquainted with it, as he says. On applying to the assessors, I am surprised to learn that they cannot at once name a dozen in the town who own their farms free and clear. If you would know the history of these homesteads, inquire at the bank where they are mortgaged. The man who has actually paid for his farm with labor on it is so rare that every neighbor can point to him. I doubt if there are three such men in Concord. What has been said of the merchants, that a very large majority, even ninety-seven in a hundred, are sure to fail, is equally true of the farmers. With regard to the merchants, however, one of them says pertinently that a great part of their failures are not genuine pecuniary failures, but merely failures to fulfil their engagements, because it is inconvenient; that is, it is the moral character that breaks down. But this puts an infinitely worse face on the matter, and suggests, beside, that probably not even the other three succeed in saving their souls, but are perchance bankrupt in a worse sense than they who fail honestly.

很難相信，150年前的美國，人們為貸款所苦的情形，一直到現在都沒有改變。台灣樂透彩公司的經理說，幾乎所有頭獎得主拿到錢後第一件要做的事就是把房貸還清。我持續的買樂透已經一段時間，但一直到最近我才確定，若是我中了頭彩，我還是要過目前這樣的生活；除了會把為朋友作的事停掉之外。雖然多了錢，但一樣的用減法過日子；如果有增加了什麼東西，那只是為了更快速的消化之前已有的。

所謂用減法過生活，除了是物質上的，主要還是精神上的。當初釋迦牟尼提出輪迴轉世說法的重點在於解釋現象，而不在教化人心。釋迦牟尼在成道後自然認清了他的前世今生，於是他把他的體驗加上原本在印度就有的觀念加以說明。而也許在那個時代此種轉世的現象不像現在這麼稀有，佛陀的說法就為普羅大眾解釋了那些現象。

但是知道了自己的前世並無助於佛教解脫的目的。如果沒有因此而體認到整個世界體系在無止盡的、周而復始中生起與消滅，前生的記憶將只是一項負擔、一項無用且不必要的心靈累贅。死亡的作用不只是釋放衰壞的身體，還包括了過份擁擠的知識、習慣了的常規、僵化的意見與偏見、不重要的記憶累積。這些會把我們綑在過去，抑制我們在面對新的情境與較廣的關係時可能的醒覺。恢復了前生的記憶而沒有正確的體認，會使死亡的釋罪失去作用。要想過一種新的生活，不能佔用舊的軀殼，因為舊的軀殼只會腐朽。

用減法過生活就是一種釋罪的生活。

修行之非無政府主義者

Formerly, when how to get my living honestly, with freedom left for my proper pursuits, was a question which vexed me even more than it does now, for unfortunately I am become somewhat callous, I used to see a large box by the railroad, six feet long by three wide, in which the laborers locked up their tools at night; and it suggested to me that every man who was hard pushed might get such a one for a dollar, and, having bored a few auger holes in it, to admit the air at least, get into it when it rained and at night, and hook down the lid, and so have freedom in his love, and in his soul be free. This did not appear the worst, nor by any means a despicable alternative. You could sit up as late as you pleased, and, whenever you got up, go abroad without any landlord or house-lord dogging you for rent. Many a man is harassed to death to pay the rent of a larger and more luxurious box who would not have frozen to death in such a box as this. I am far from jesting. Economy is a subject which admits of being treated with levity, but it cannot so be disposed of.

經濟是枝微末節的事，大事則是修行。修行是為了讓自己像夜間的穀類一樣生長(grow like corn in the night)，讓時間在不知不覺中流逝，或者說是靜止。讀書則是我修行的一部份。讀書最重要的目的在讓人學會如何思考。只要學會怎麼思考，你便具有無限的適應性；無論世態人心如何改變，你都一樣可以過得下去。歷史上最會思考的兩個人，一個是釋迦牟尼，另一個則是亨利大衛梭羅。他們兩個都把了解自身當作是最重要的事。因為他們知道，一個人若連自己都不瞭解，如何談到其他的事物。他們二人在完全理解自己之後，才知道如何運用自己的思想改變自己對世界的看法。所以梭羅才會說，我們應該改變事物的順序，只有週日工作，其餘的六天都用來休息。佛陀則說，這個世界就是人的感官知覺及其對象所組成，即便有其他的存在，說了也是白說。他們兩個也都不認為自己的思想能改變世界的狀態。佛陀認為一切都是因緣和合而成；梭羅則說作散工是最好的維生方式，卻從不考慮到如果人人都作散工，勢必將無散工可作的問題。所以，如果我在這裡住的夠久，高雄市的這一帶在我眼中應該會是另一個光景。

"Thoreau is being every bit as revolutionary and anti-capitalistic as Karl Marx, but his solution depends on the actions of individuals rather than on the actions of armies and mobs. If you want a Marxist revolution, you have to join with others to overthrow the present system, but if you want a Thoreauvian revolution, you need to change only your own life, not that of others." - Ken Kifer

（梭羅就像馬克斯一樣的反資本主義和具有革命性格，但他的解決之道不是依賴軍隊或者群眾的行動而是自己本身。如果你要的是馬克斯主義的革命，那麼你就得加入其他人去推翻現有的制度；若是你要採取梭羅的方法，你只要改變你自己的生活，而非其他人的。 - Ken Kifer）

因為原本計劃是要到森林或鄉間去住，所以在未搬進來之前就去認養了一隻小狗。每當我無處話淒涼之時，還有牠來作伴。梭羅所失去的那隻獵犬算是被我尋回來了。事實上我對自己的人生是相當滿意的，只是我想如果臺灣想要成為一個正常的國家，不能沒有像梭羅這樣的人。梭羅說，當時的美國人民，只要跟他們的政府有關，便感到屈辱；梭羅一分鐘也無法承認這個販賣奴隸的政府也是他的政府。就是因為他的文字才使美國漸漸變成一個可以讓人尊重的國家，而不是因為她的武力和財富。

在梭羅的眼裡，所有的政權都是不義的。一個主權獨立的政府並不能保証這個國家的人民受到其他地方的人的尊重；一個標榜自己是本土政權的政府往往破壞本土最深，以至於把本土的根都挖了。但是要從自作聰明的老人腦子裡把康固力刮掉，幾乎是不可能的事。不管你教他多少遍：他所執取不捨的這個虛妄的本土政權，是他們錯誤看法的產物 ── 他還是無法相信，而且認為你到現在還沒有辦法覺醒，因為幫他們編織這個東西的報紙是「自由」的！我必須再說：凡是心繫"祖國"的人，是沒有希望的 ──

你腳下踏著的這點土，你如果不覺得它比這世界上（或是任何世界上）任何別的土更甜潤，那我就認為你這人毫無希望了。

我們曾經跟中國人有過交往，只要他是為了自由而來到這裡、真正地把他的祖國留在背後了，我們就沒有不歡迎他的道理。

下民應是難欺

The head monkey at Paris puts on a traveller's cap, and all the monkeys in America do the same. I sometimes despair of getting anything quite simple and honest done in this world by the help of men.　They would have to be passed through a powerful press first, to squeeze their old notions out of them, so that they would not soon get upon their legs again; and then there would be some one in the company with a maggot in his head, hatched from an egg deposited there nobody knows when, for not even fire kills these things, and you would have lost your labor.

梭羅的年代距離美國獨立已超過50年，但當時美國本土所崇尚的還是在歐洲流行的事物。愛默森說：『從來沒有一個人比梭羅更是一個真正的美國人。他對他的國家與國內情形的喜愛是真誠的，而他對於英國與歐洲的禮儀與嗜好具有一種反感，幾乎到了蔑視的程度。他不耐煩地聽著從倫敦社會中蒐集來的新聞或是雋語；雖然他想保持禮貎，這些軼事使他感到疲倦。』

台灣是這麼小的一個國家，沒有像美國那樣的機會成為世界強權，人民難以建立自信心；所以即使台灣真正獨立50年後，還一樣會有一堆易虐的下民。他們不敢承認自己的東西是好的，一定要等到國際的肯定以後才敢大聲肯定自己。為什麼中國的孫悟空頭上戴了金箍，台灣的彌猴就得要跟著戴呢？「下民易虐，上天難欺」不就是讓人頭痛的緊箍咒嗎？司法人員喜好引用封建時代廟堂上的用語也就罷了，還引據失義，實在不可思議。難怪梭羅會懷疑人到底能不能幫忙弄點真正單純而誠摯的東西出來。他說：要產生真正單純而誠摯的東西（譬如海角七號），必須要用力的壓過去，把那些舊觀念全擠出來，讓它們沒有機會再站起來；問題是這個時候就會有一些腦袋長蛆的人在旁邊（譬如金馬獎評審），在你的周圍下蛋，使你的一切努力都付東流。